This is a big one. Getting to the power of saying ‘no’ can be cathartic, but it’s not easy.
One of my cousins believes that you should always make time for someone who asks you to do something, and I think a lot of us think that. However, I also have a friend that sometimes just says ‘I’d rather not today’, and I have to say I admire that. There’s no excuse, she’s completely honest about it. Why shouldn’t she be?
Too many times, I’ve forced myself out to do something, when what I really wanted was some time at home with my family. Or I’ve made up an excuse when really what I should have said was ‘I’d rather not today’. There’s something that we don’t like about upsetting people, however when we’re honest people respect that. A simple ‘no’ can be cathartic, when it’s not every time.
I think to be comfortable with the power of no, we have to accept that people might be offended. They have every right if they’re always doing the asking. Maybe we’d feel more comfortable saying ‘I’d rather not today but how about next week?’ Also, I think you have to sometimes accept the fact that you have to do some things. For example, wedding dress shopping. When someone asks you to do that it’s because they trust you and want you to be a part of it. It’s important. Or a birthday, they only come round once a year after all, and yes, even if it’s not a big birthday. These are the things you have to make an effort for, but now and again it’s good to say no.
I applied the same principle recently to buying our dining room table. I could have simply bought it online, we had a good idea of the range, but had we have done we would have spent £150 more. That’s a lot of money. Remember walking away doesn’t mean you have lost the negotiation, sometimes it allows you to reflect and to come back if needed. There are so many times I would have saved money if I had just said ‘no’ when it wasn’t a good deal, or the first offer on the table.
The power of no, can I believe, put a lot of us, back in the driving seat, and that’s important.
As usual I’d love to hear your comments.